disappointed

long story short,

i'm not mad at you. it's just that i'm really disappointed in what you did. i'm frustrated and sad when you're not there for me. i'm fine if it is for some times but you did this every day, doesn't matter day or night. it makes me think that you're better off without me. i barely spent time with you. you can say what ever you want but this is how i feel. 

i hate to say this but i'm gonna say it. i hate it when you do this to me. no offence but i don't hate you, just your act. :(

STARS

whenever i missed you, i looked at the stars. and it was all yellow.. :')

tiring

it's super crazy! tahun depan dah nak SPM, tak boleh main-main. SPM sangat penting. cikgu tusyen cakap "result PMR korang sebelah mate pun orang tak pandang bile dah nak SPM nanti. SPM adalah penentuan segala galanye". penentuan untuk ke university. gila! i'm not ready. terase baru semalam masuk sekolah menengah, baru semalam dapat result PMR. sekarang dah nak SPM pulak, hanya tinggal setahun di bangku persekolahan. lepas ni tak dah tak rase la pakai unifom sekolah, baju putih dan kain biru. sekarang semua orang umurnye semakin bertambah, begitu juga aku. i think i have to change for good! no more fooling around, no more hanging out, no more talking nonsense, especially no more doing ridiculous stuff. you have to grow up girl! study more, help mum and more in studying. i don't want to think about the sissy things. focus on what you want and always pray to Allah. i'm determine to make my parents and myself proud. no more regrets. insyaAllah in Allah's will. lovie you mum dad! thanks for being my parents!:)

maze

four days had gone after the exam. i'm not really happy. for the past few days i was worried. i don't want to know the results. i'm not ready yet. the exam was really frustrating. what ever it is, i don't want to disappoint my parents. it's getting worst when i already got the result of one of the subject, and i told my mum about it. she was not mad, but i don't like the way i felt. i told that i got a C in history, although i'd work my guts out. IHHSM. damn! mum said " it's ok. it's not like you're in SPM. so, you should do better next time." she smiled and gave me a hug. you are the best mum!, i love you :)

nobody really knows.

It gets harder everyday but I can’t seem to shake the pain.I am tryna find the word to say please stay.It’s written all over my face.I can’t function the same when you’re not here.Calling your name when no ones there.And I hope one day you’ll see.No body has it easy.I still can’t believe you.Found somebody new.But I wish you the best.I guess.‘Cause everybody knows that.Nobody really knows how to make it work .Or how to ease the hurt.We’ve heard it all before and .Everybody knows just how to make it right.I wish we gave it one more try.One more try, try (one more try).One more try, try (one more try).‘cause everybody knows.But no body really knows.Oh ooh yeah.I don’t care what the people say.If I’ll be lonely anyway.Baby don’t fill up your head with he said she said.It seems like you just don’t know (don’t know).The radio goes you’re tuning me up.Am trying to speak you’re turning me down.And I know one day you’ll see.No body has it easy.I still can’t believe you.Found somebody new.But I wish you the best.I guess.‘Cause everybody knows that.Nobody really knows how to make it work .Or how to ease the hurt.We’ve heard it all before and .Everybody knows just how to make it right.I wish we gave it one more try.One more try, try (one more try).One more try, try (one more try).‘cause everybody knows.But no body really knows.I wish that you would understand.I’m just an ordinary man.I wish that we had known.Everybody knows that nobody really knows.And I know one day you’ll see.Nobody has it easy.No body has it easy.I still can’t believe you.Found somebody new.But I wish you the best.I guess.‘Cause everybody knows that.Nobody really knows how to make it work .Or how to ease the hurt.We’ve heard it all before and .Everybody knows just how to make it right.I wish we gave it one more try.One more try, try (one more try).One more try, try (one more try).‘cause everybody knows.But no body really knows

jelly bean

BLAH  BLAH BLAH, boring! the final exam is almost here. i really don't have much time left to do revision. its only about a week. oh mann! frustrated? nervous?excited? i can't decide which emotion is suitable for this. for sure, i can tell that, although my mum won't get mad at me if my results not pretty, then i will get mad for myself. so stup*d. i don't know what will i write in the exam. i feel like my knowledge is ZERO. balnk-blankedy-blank-blank.

by the way, i'm gonna wish a happy birthday to someone tonight. let me sing it for you. ehem. happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday my dear, happy birthday to you. you are old now. haha. take it as a compliment. *smile

socko

when I looked at you, some how I taught I knew you for a long time. but when I looked at you for the second time, I realised that I dont even know who you are any more. you've really change a lot i think. maybe you said no but I guest im just the only one who realised it. actually, hoping for something for sure you wont get it, its really a waste of time. it doesnt always go as you wanted it to be. i knew that. but im just hoping for only one thing. that only one thing is hoping that you will be you again. please for goodness sake. im begging you. dont change. mum said its life dear. people change in time and they dont appreciate something they had until it is gone. iloveyoumum!

loop

if you hate the cake, please don't eat it. you don't have to insult about it. its not polite and you're mean. if you hate the fruit, just put it aside. you don't have to throw it in the rubbish b'cause someone else might want to have it a try. 

just stop the st**id drama. PLEASE!

the only

the only song that can cure my heartache is the only exception by Paramore.

Samantha;

The next day, I went to school and went straight away to my desk in the classroom. I’ve noticed that, I did wrote my number on the desk. I thought to my self, “why did I ever wrote the number? it was so not cool”. A couple of minutes later the bell rang and all the students went to their classes. Izzie entered the classroom and I was a bit nervous. I don’t even know why. He looked at me and didn’t even say a word while doing his bumpy face. I sat down and chill myself. The teacher came in and we continued out studies as usual.

            As time past by, our friendship became closer and closer. A year past, and we’re in the eighth grade. We then became really good friends. Every time I’m with him, I felt very comfortable.  As if he was my twin. We’d really spent a lot of time together. People were gossiping about us at school but we didn’t care because we care about each other. I really felt appreciated whenever I’m close to him. For me, this is called MAGIC. It’s truly wonderful to be remembered.

not finish here...

It Should

remembered

kenagan yang lalu bermain-main di fikiran. walaupun sudah lama berlalu, tetapi kenangan itu masih segar di ingatan. bila terkenang masa dulu-dulu memang best. ikhlas aku cakap memang aku rindukan kau. aku punyai seorang sahabat yang kini hanya menjadi bayangan. aku suka berkawan dengan kau tapi malangnya hubungan kita terputus begitu sahaja. masing-masing membawa haluan masing-masing. punca berlakunye perkara ini tiada siapa yang tahu. sedar-sedar ianya sudah pun berlalu. kau baik walaupun tidak manis. ramai yang beranggapan perangai kau buruk tapi bagi aku cantek. mereka mengutuk bila kita berkawan tapi aku tidak kesah walaupun kau sorang sahaja kawan aku. ape saje permintaan aku, kau tolong tunaikan. bila aku bersama kau, aku rasa dihargai.

 

tapi kenapa kite dah tak macam dulu?kau memang satu dalam seribu. aku tau hidup kau makin bagus sekarang, begitu juga aku. tapi andaikan bagus kalau kite masih ada hubungan sebagai kawan?aku sedar, kenangan ini hanya aku yang rindu, hanya aku yang hargai, hanya aku yang terbayang-bayang di fikiran sedangkan kau langsung tidak hiraukan. .fullstops.

potatoes

if you like me, then say that you like me. 

if you miss me, then say that you miss me.

if you love me, then say that you love me.

if you don't feel anything for me, then just live me and I'm on my way..

said bobby.

paristalsis

hari suddah menjelang tengah hari. skarang sudah pukul 1 petang. aku sangat la bosan. kerja yang dibuat hanya sedikit yang siap. pukul 2 nanti ade kelas pulak. esok pulak sekolah. membilang hari untuk cuti sekolah tak henti henti. malangnya cuti lambat lagi. kne tunggu lagi 2 minggu untuk menikmati cuti yang akan aku gunakan sepenuhnya. aku juga bosan dengan sukan yang aku main tu. benci pun ade. aku tau ape yang aku buat ni semue nye tidak ikhlas. aku tau perbuatan ini tidak manis tetapi aku terpaksa. dengan ikhlas aku cakap, aku bosan dengan permanan ini. aku melakukan nya hanya kerana terpaksa dan untuk menjaga hati orang tua. maaf jika aku tidak melakukannya dengan sempurna. 

Samantha continues :

But IT didn’t tell. So I decided to know IT better. IT said that he is a boy and I started to think who is it. Maybe he one of my classmates? or my neighbor? Or even one of my pen pals in the internet. I think and I think, and I’m not even close of guessing who is it. Then, I asked him a lot of times that I don’t even remember how many times I’ve asked. Finally, he told me his name. But, before he told his name, he’s playing games with me, which really disturbing. Dot dot dot. His name was izzie. I’ve realise that he was my classmate which seated just in front of me. I was like WHAT?!. How can that be? He is so quiet in the class. He didn’t even speak to girls. Even the ones in my class. This is so not funny. Its kind of weird and a bit interesting. So then, I decided to be friends with him. I did ask where did he get my number. He told me that I wrote my number on my desk.

stops and continue later.

fasting

akhirnye aku menulis jugak blog ini. bulan ramadhan sudah tiba, kite sebagai umat islam wajib berpuasa. sudah dua hari dalam bulan ini belalu. esok masuk hari ketiga. hari hari yang telah berlalu samada sebelum puasa atau selepas puasa berjalan seperti biasa. tiada apa apa masalah besar, cuma nota yeng berbukit harus ditulis. rancangan untuk membuat lawatan kelas moge moge berjalan lancar. aku dan rakan rakan bekerja keras untuk menjayakan program ini. jangan tidak jadi sudah. hancur harapan kami. bile agaknye kat rumah aku ni meja nak pnuh?aku rindu adik beradik aku. dulu dulu meja makan selalu penuh. tiap kali duduk kat meja tu, tak kering gusi aku dibuatnye. gelak ketawe memang satu kebiasaan. kau kau semue balik lah ye, aku rindu nak bukak puase ramai ramai macam dulu. kau tak kesian ke aku dengan umi dueorang je yang bukak puase?fullstops. 

adopted

first love.

people say that first love is the most beautiful thing that had happened, but some say it might be a nightmare for them. its kinda interesting if you look closely at it. for me, it is special. it is something that the first thing you would ever do and try. for let say, it might be the first thing you would say to a person you like or love, e.g.; i love you or i miss you or even i really cant leave without you. all the sentences would be the first time to say to somebody besides your parents or bff's since this is the first love. an elderly said that, even her age had almost reached 70, she had never forget her first love. it was a permanent memory in her mind. even you are married, have children, or your children's children, you would still remember this as a beautiful moment or a horrible moment. it is eventually up to each feelings. now, im still not over it and im kinda liked it. :)

armload

its late, but i cant sleep. the reason for this isn't in the dictionary book. i have nothing much to say. its just, tomorrow is a schooling day, and its a bit suck. why am i so lazy you? please give me a self reminder which is the exam wont be over until the end year school holidays. but next year will be worst. i cant even bare to thing such thing. maniac! full stops.

freak.

 Samantha wrote :: 

Its been a while since I first met you. I’m a bit confuse with all this problems. I like you. you like me? Its seems to me, it is the most stupid question that I’d ever ask. But, I really need to know weather your feelings are the same for me. If it is, then we can to be together. Forever if we tried to. My mind keeps flashing back to the past. I cant seem to forget the things we went through. It’s a bit rough, a lot of pain, several cuts, and a dash of bleed. It’s a whole pack called desire life! You may think it’s a funny thing to say, but you don’t even have a clue about desire. Let me start this story from the most beginning.

            All of this begins at the official school holidays in December. It’s in the middle of winter. Icy cold is everywhere. Wet side walk, snowing the whole day. Not my favorite season to pick. Back to the story, we were in the seventh grade. The whole year we were in same class. Although we were in the same class but we weren’t friends at all. I know a little bit about you. For let say, only your name. You were so quiet, not like me. I’m like the class clown. Making loud noises were my passion. It’s a funny thing to describe myself. Well, it’s true I think. Continue, then, one day, I receive a message on the phone which I don’t know who is it from. I did ask who is it..

stops here.

c.e.o

Rindu jugak aku kat mr. blog ni. oh blogger! tiada ape-ape cerite menarik hari ini. hanya ingin menyatakan ape yang terlintas di hati. manusia, makin lame makin besar, makin sibuk, makin tua dan seangkatan dengan nya. aku betul betul tiada mood malam ini. aku cube untuk senyum tetapi hampa. tidak terukir juga. cube untuk berlagak happy, tapi ternyata ia hanya lakonan semata mata untuk mengaburi mata kasar. hakikatnya, hati aku pedih, entah kenape. menyalahkan orang kerana sakit hati, padahal mungkin salah diri sendiri yang aku tidak sedar. maaf jika siapa siapa yang terluka kerana aku tapi kau harus tau aku juga terluka. 

due tiga hari ni, kau tak layan aku. aku keseorangan. tiada teman. mungkin mende ni nampak ringan. tapi aku terase dengan perbuatan kau. dan walaupun kau sudah meminta maaf, aku masih terase. mungkin kau cakap aku terlalu sensitif, tapi itu hakikatnye. aku tak boleh ubah. aku rindukan gelak tawa kau, tapi kau juga yang membuatkan aku tidak boleh menerima itu semue. pucanye aku juga kurang pasti.

maaf jika tersilap bahasa atau terkasar bahasa. kau tau perasaan aku kat kau kan?tak payah bagi tau..

tumbling (a)

its been quite long since the last post, i almost forgot about this. nothing much to say. its July now. so many things had happened in whole month of June . happy stuff, sad stuff even the most stupidest thing had happened. 

a short story might be a good one even though not so very interesting.

the full moon is up. there is a girl and a boy holding hands, 

making their way to a small park. 

sitting on the green grass.

the girl starts the conversation.

girl: the moon is very beautiful tonight.

boy: yeah, as beautiful as you, my dear. 

(with a sweet simile on his face.)

girl: you just saying that to make me feel good. 

(silent without a word)

em, do you love me?

boy: (no answer)

girl: do you love me??(she repeat it for the second time)

boy: em..

girl: you don't have to answer it if you don't want to. 

(the girl gets up, and left without saying goodbye) 

the boy was a bit in shocked and didn't do anything.

the night ends with unexpected reaction.

singers

people always support the only most famous ones. what's that all about?.

">

these people up there aren't very famous, but their voices are superb! listen hey! :)

ODD

puke

 

cuti dah nk habis. sucks! tinggal dua hari lagi cuti. tak puas bagi aku. minggu pertame dah aku habiskan untuk mssm. dan mungkin jugak berbaloi sebab at least aku dapat satu pingat gangsa daripada pulang dengan tangan kosong. aku sangat bersyukur. tapi aku tak dapat habiskan cuti aku dengan bangun lewat, lepak ngan kawan-kawan, makan and tonton tv 24 jam. takpe la, semue dah lepas. yang paling best, anya balek. die ade belikan aku cardign panjang. gile aku sayang mende tuh. haha, tenkiu anya. i love you :)

rindu nak jume kawan-kawan. kau pun aku rindu jugak. lame tak keluar same-same. nantilah kalau ade mase dan rezki, kite jumpe lagi. *sigh, bilik tak kemas lagi, buku-buku sekolah bersepah atas lantai. kertas-kertas exam lupe letak kat mane. gila beb! malas nak mati. blah~

bloated

barang-barang hampir siap kemas. first thing tomorrow dah nak bertolak pergi negeri sembilan. naik bas, mak ai bosan mp3 takde. aku nak pergi mssm. ade game. nervous pun ade ni. aku harap sangat tak balek dengan tangan kosong nanti. paling kurang pun dapat 1 medal. aku nak simpan tracksuit yang aku dapat tu. cantek! kalau kalah, kene pulangkan balek. so, wish me good luck okeh. hope for the best for TERENGGANU! :)

TSP

satu minggu tak pergi sekolah, kelam kabut exam dibuatnye. semue nye sebab latihan pusat yang aku rase tak bergune. score aku makin teruk. punce nye aku pun tak berape pasti. kertas-kertas exam semue aku terpakse jawab malam. siang latihan, malam exam. tak sempat nak study pun, main hentam je jawab exam. teruk aku. result nye nanti tak tau la cam ne. harap-harap oke. 

masalah?memang ade. terase agak keberatan bile nak sakitkan hati orang. susah untuk aku nak buat macam tu. macam mane nak cakap baik baik kat orang, bile die anggap kite lebih dari kawan, sedangkan kite hanya anggap die sabagai kawan karib. aku tak suke berbohong, tapi kali ni aku tepakse bagi tak melukakan hati seseorang. pelik bagi aku, tapi semue ni dah terjadi. 

d for?

tensi beb! gila oh gila. exam susa la bodoh. hari ni physics II dan sejarah II. memang pecah kepale fikir. esok addmath pulak. letih berfikir. bile mahu rehat?damn. 


hari ni aku dah dapat surat untuk pegi central training. kate cg, training start esok. hari ni dah kne pack barang. petang esok pegi daftar dan hari jumaat mula. tapi kan, weekand ni aku kene pergi kl, ade konvo abg aku, so nampaknye aku tak training lagi. tunggu hari ahad pulak. dah la exam dekat sekolah orang. memang tak best langsung. aku tak suke. chemistry susah bangang.


kirenye, by next week, aku dah tak pergi sekolah. aku exam dekat sekolah orang lain. aku kene say bye-bye kat kawan kawan aku esok. lagi pun, cuti nanti pun maybe dan 98% sure tak akan jumpe. sebab aku sibuk dengan sukan dan family aku. alamatnye, 3 minggu la tak jumpe. takpe la, lepas cuti nanti jumpe balik. kirenye, ni last post aku sampai cuti nanti pulak.


hari ni aku tak nampak pun kau. sebabnye, aku pun tak pasti. aku tak bagi tau lagi kat kau pasal mende ni. sori la, malam ni aku cakap kot. kau macam tak nak layan aku je kan? takpe la, aku rase kalau tak bagi tau pun same je kan, kau pun tak kesah. tak jumpe 1 hari ke, 3 minggu ke, same je bagi kau. oke la, blah~

who is?

as the time went by, i really felt you were getting further away from me. its like some kind of psycho alien took you away.making me felt that you weren't by my side. maybe its not you, its me. i'm being over sensitive about everything. it was such childish of me for doing that. sometimes i felt, you were very cold to me. maybe you said no, but that was what i felt. try sleeping with a heartache. see how you can coat up with that. i really miss laughing with you, listening to all your jokes. you make me really happy. but some how, we fought often these days. i don't even know why. maybe, its because i'm very busy, and we hardly met. i'm really sorry for that. i don't mean it to happen this way. i really hope that our relationship will last, and will be as before. please forgive me. i really want you to be like before. i don't like being hurt..sorry~

subway

the exam is here again. few days past and there are still 2 weeks more to go. when will it ever end?maniac! by next week, maybe my exam will be distracted. i'm going to a sports event soon, but not sure. my teacher didn't received any letter yet. so we just have to wait. before this, i really can't wait for the school  holiday. i wanna have fun! but now, just forget about it. my holidays turn into a nightmare. it isn't a holiday anymore. and i can't spent time with friends and families. stupid sport! i wish i don't have to. but i don't want to disappoint my parents and teachers. mostly my parents actually. they're really supportive. 

hippo

bla bla bla. pagi tadi ade kem addmath kat sekolah. boleh tahan la best nye. yang pasti aku tak menyesal pergi. sronok la jugak. lame aku tak luang mase ngan kawan. nak lepak takde mase. spent mase blaja pun kire oke la tu. dalam dewan suare kiteorang je yang bising. lumrah kate kan. bising bising pun kerje siap pe. cukup syarat la kot. 


lepas kem, ade tuisyen pulak. aku ade 1 cite klaka la kot. pelik pun ye jugak. tadi blaja chemy. pagi dah ade class, mesti la petang dah letih kan. tido pun tak sempat. so, mase aku tengah salin nota kat papan putih tu, boleh pulak aku tertido. sampai termimpi mipi lagi. padahal aku tengah tulis. pastu, aku tekejut bile kawan aku tegur kenape aku tulis macam cacing kerawit je. bile aku sedar je, nota dah pun siap aku salin. pelik betul. biarlah tulisan tak cantek pun. asal boleh bace. 

dripin

hari ni sudah 3 hari bulan may. sekejap sangat mase berlalu. rase tak sangke dah nak dekat setengah tahun aku berade di tingkatan 4. makin hari umur makin tambah. cuti baru baru ni amat membosankan. pagi, pentang, siang dan malam ade kelas tuisyen. rase nak muntah pun ade. masuk ke tak aku belajar tu, main hentam je. 2 minggu lagi nak exam. aku betul betul tak ready. masih tak sedar diri. buku sikit pun aku tak sentuh. gile perasan kau pandai sangat. nak kate aku spent time main mende cyber ni, tak la sangat. aku on kadang-kadang je. tonton tv?pun jarang. tiap-tiap hari, balik lewat. lepas tu, cakap-cakap dengan mak aku, naik bilik terus tido. ade hari, hati aku tergerak jugak nak bace buku, tapi bile bukak je buku, baru bace 1 baris ayat, terus terase mengantuk dan aku pilih untuk tido. bodoh kan?membazir mase senang-senang cam tu je. aku memang tak pandai menghargai langsung. sedar lah diri kau tu semek.:P 

sape sape yang nak jadi kaye kan, aku cadangkan korang jual ubat rajin. konfem la korang jadi jutawan nanti. aku memang tabeb la sape yang boleh cipta ubat tu. i'll be your first customer. haha :)

ignorence

Picture perfect memories, scattered all around the floor. Reaching for the phone 'cause I can't fight it anymore. And I wonder if I ever cross your mind. For me it happens all the time. It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now. Said I wouldn't call but I've lost all control and I need you now. And I don't know how I can do without. I just need you now. Another shot of whiskey, can't stop looking at the door. Wishing you'd come sweeping in the way you did before. Guess I'd rather hurt than feel nothing at all. Oh baby, I need you now..

flow

oh blogger! rindu la kau. lame tak update. sampai laptop aku pun dah penuh dengan debu, kesian. banyak bende yang aku nak cite. macam-macam ade, haha. weekand baru ni ade game, aku participated la sampai banyak ketinggalan pelajaran. gile sedih, tapi aku bersyukur, sebab alhamdulillah aku dapat jugak pingat. tak la balek ngan tangan kosong kan. lepas ni lagi banyak ponteng kelas, aku boleh pergi ke peringkat kebangsaan. dalam rase teruje jugak ade sedih. aku tak sanggup ponteng kelas lagi, dah la muke makin lame makin hitam. tapi apekan daye, aku tak nak hampakan mak bapak aku, cg aku. tepakse la berkorban jugak. 


yelaa, aku tau lame tak pergi sekolah, lame tak jumape kau kau semue, tak lepak sesame. skarang, bile dah pergi sekolah, aku selalu ketinggalan zaman. lambat receive update terkini. terpinge-pinge dengan ape-ape yang orang cakap, tak dapat sampuk pun. makin lame pun aku dah rase yang takde orang ambik kesah tentang aku lagi kecuali parents aku. aku ade ngan korang ke, takde ke, same jea. orang bukan nak layan aku pun kan. aku ade situ pun macam budak invisible je. nak kate tak perasan tu, takkan la tak nampak aku yang besar gajah ni? takpe la, aku faham, aku tak kesah pun. asal korang bahagia dengan hidup korang sudah. nak kate aku ni yang terlalu sensitif pun kate lah, tak kesah. cume aku cakap ape yang aku rase dan nampak. 

metallic

hari hari makin tambah, orang pun makin berubah. makin lame, makin jauh berbeza. yang masih kekal hanya sebahagian je. bukan nak mengate sape sape, cume kenyataan yang aku nampak.dulu kau A, skarang dah berubah jadi B pulak, lame skit nanti ape pulak kau nak jadi eh?C?D? atau Z terus? suke sangat berubah, orang makin lame makin bagus, kau makin pelik pulak. kalau nak tuka tu aku tak larang, tapi tolong la ikhlas dan jangan la jadi macam orang slalu cakap tu, "poser". kalau stakat nak tuka tuka ni untuk dapat perhatian, baik tak payah, buat malu muke je nak sangat publisiti murah.


lain lain, ramai berubah, perangai, care layan manusia. lain semue. tak kisah la kalau sape sape tak kisah hidup aku, aku tau aku sape . tapi aku harap, kalau kau kau semue nak bahagia, tolong la jangan pentingkan bahagia sorang sorang, fikir orang lain jugak keh. lagi satu, aku bukan sape sape nak suruh orang itu ini buat ape ape, tapi aku harap ubah sikap tu, jadi macam sedia kale lagi bagus tau. jage diri kau elok elok, aku tak nak kau terluke nanti, aku dah nasihat pun. kalau aku terluke takpe, aku dah biase. aku sayang kau, pandai pandai la jage diri masing masing keh. blah lue~

envy

kalau boleh aku nak berjaye, tapi aku bukan seorang yang tamak dan selfish. aku nak berjaye sekali ngan kawan kawan aku. malam ni, aku bosan sangat. takde mende yang nak buat. homework belambak tak sentuh langsung. aku tau aku rugikan mase aku. bile aku tengok, orang laen, macam takde beban je. hari hari pegi sekolah. balek sekolah as usual, tak lewt. kat umah buat homework, lain lain pegi tusyen. tu je, hari hari buat mende same. kadang kadang aku jeles tengok korang. tapi kenape tak gune mase lebih tu?aku tengok macam tak sibuk je. boleh kau bazir mase tu eh?sape sape tak payah terase, aku tak kate sesape pun, aku cume bagi nasihat n pendapat. aku tau aku pun same. aku menyesal jugak. terkilan jugak banyak tak masuk kelas. tapi ni semue sebab sukan tu lah. kau tak masuk, ape kau tau. letih gile doe. aku harap aku ade mase nak ulang kaji. exam midyear dah dekat. kene sedar diri  la baii. diri tu tak pandai, belajar lah lebih lagi. kelas banyak tak pegi, tusyen tinggal. macam orang mabuk laut je lah.bile aku boleh rehat pun tak tau. duit 15 ringgit aku melayang macam tu je, aku ponteng kem. aku tau salah. tapi mak aku jugak cakap tak payah pegi. tusyen lagi penting. aku pun stuju jela. kenape kau pegi kem tu? aku bosan la takde orang nak teman. yela kene sabar, 3 hari je pun kan. oke, blahh~

hypersynthetic

aku letih la bodoh!tiap tiap hari kerje macam robot tycoon. bile aku boleh rehat macam orang lain eh?tak sabar rasenye. sekarang, giliran aku pulak untuk bersukan, memang letih tapi seronok. yang tak best, banyak ketinggalan kelas. tapi, kite kene reda jela kan. nak buat cam mane lagi. tahun ni, aku semangat dan bercite cite untuk masuk mssm, nak wakil tggnu lah katekan, tapi tu semue angan angan je. yang kurang sedap, hari ni aku dan lain lain pergi jumpe coach, training kat sane. lame tak jumpe. aku tau aku tak pandai main. ape tah lagi bile lame tak practice. lagi lah teruk. macam kambing nak terbang je. die tegur care aku tarik, tapi dalam nada yang sinis, aku sedikit terase, tapi buat muke toyol je. lepas je pada tu, cite cite aku jadi hilang dan konsentrasi aku pun turut hilang. rase malas nak turut serta, tapi terpakse jugak. ni semue untuk mase depan aku. akhir skali, yang paling aku terguris, bile coach tak tegur aku, dalam kate lain tak cakap ngan aku. aku sedih, nak marah pun ade. tapi maybe die nak mara aku kot, sebab makin lame makin teruk, orang makin bgus, tapi aku sebaliknye. esok rase malas nak tengok muke die. tapi semue aku buat dalam keadaan sedikit terpakse yang tak berape ikhlas. aku tau, perbuatan aku teruk. blah~ 

comparessy

makin hari makin moody. bodoh la kau! masalah ape pun aku tak tau. hari makin tambah, rehat tak pernah cukup. muke makin lame makin hitam. rase nak marah kat orang awam pun ade. ape kene ngan kau eh?cepat sangat terase ni kenape?dulu kau tak macam tu pun, kau oke je, tapi skarang, pantang salah sikit, dah nak merajuk. susah la cam ni, kau kene ubah. aku sayang kau, tak pernah sedikit pun terdetik nak benci kau. jangan salah anggap. aku tau kau banyak masalah, kau kene kongsi, jangan simpan sorang sorang, nanti kau meletup, aku jugak yang susah. tapi aku tau aku tak perfect, ramai yang tak faham aku, kau pun same kan?so, kite same same kene faham la. aku lain, kau lain. kalau aku ade fairy kan best, boleh wish macam macam. first skali aku nak wish, semue beban kerje yang aku tanggung ni hilang, baru la ringan kpale bahu aku nih. wahh3, berangan la kau sampai kau boleh sentuh awan tu. oke la, blah lu~

journey

selame aku hidup, banyak bende yang dah jadi, macam macam orang yang aku jumpe. kau, ape jenis manusia pun aku tak tau dan aku tak nak ambik tau pun. tapi, yang kau cerdik pandai sangat pegi cerite tu ape hal?konon nak tunjuk kau hebat?kau hot?kau paling top?paling cantek?weh, cermin la diri kau tu. malas aku nak kutuk kau banyak banyak. buat tambah dosa aku je. tapi aku rase kau sendiri tau perangai kau kan?nak aku list kan ke?selfish, greedy, people hater, likes what people dislike. you are an alien budak! ikhlas aku cakap. dah la, kau nak benci aku pun aku tak kesah. kau bukan ade tolong aku pun, menyusahkan lagi ade ar. budak tak hormat senior langsung. blah lu~

circle

as the days pass by you, life gets harder all the time. you're growing up very well though. the time given in life isn't always enough. too many things to do. your soul is getting emptier as you gain your age. a virus called itself 'loneliness' started to spread in your soul. you started to feel left out and no body cares about your life any more. doing your work all by yourself with no help at all. don't care a bit about people trash tall about you. think that they are living zombies that disturbing others. hate you?so what.like you care. your life, it's your kinda way to make the path and nobody gets to get in your way. loving them that hurts yourself badly?that stupid of you but very generous. willing to sacrifice for other people's sake. others, always hurt you easily, and why can't you hurt back?it's kinda a stupid quest. get on with your life. do things as you pleased and always think positively. it's an advice you know :)

realize

due minggu aku habiskan mase dengan mak bapak aku. sedap, rase macam makan chicken broast.makanan ape pun aku tak penah makan. maen cakap ikut sedap mulut je. aku saje la nak cakap, spent time dengan parents aku memang best. aku dapat sepenuh perhatian, dan berbakul bakul kasih sayang yang jarang dapat di rumah.maklumlah, semue sibuk dengan kerje yang tak habis habis. aku sayang mak bapak aku. mereka adalah segale galenye buat aku. dalam tempuh 2minggu tu jugak lah aku dan ayah aku asyik bergurau senda. baru aku tahu yang ayah aku pandai buat aku gelak. kami same same kenekan mak aku. memang best sangat time tu. rase macam anak tunggal pulak. jangan jeles ye kaklong, abang, anya n ateh.haha, aku anak kesayangan.hoho. gurau je bebb, tak boley challenge kau ateh, abang, tabeb! out;)

no intention

menggeletar tangan aku pegang keyboard besi ni.sejuk sangat,dah la keras.tempat pulak gile sejuk.macam duduk dekat north pole pulak.dah2, jgn fkir aku pegi holiday pulak. sebenarnye takde mood pun nak tulis mende ni sebab lame sangat aku tak post blog aku. dah jadi macam sarang tikut dah. aku cume tak puas hati je. tengah letih,tak sabar nak balek rumah. aku nak tido.kerje sekola betimbun timbun. ape la si tukang pilot buat flight family aku nak naek ni delay. memang geram aku. rase nak menyumpah pun ade.tapi sabar je lah, nak buat macam mane lagi. dah 4 jam duk kat epot ni sejuk gile2 lah. oke lah, aku dah letih typing dekat keyboard robot ni. aku blah dulu :P

worthy

Dah lame aku nak post blog tentang bende ni, tapi saat ni barulah kesampaian. bende ni penting sangat dalam hidup aku. aku tau kau kau semue fikir bende ni biase saje, tapi bagi aku bende ni berharge sangat. tak ternilai harganye. kalau kau nak tuka bende ni dengan 1juta pun aku tak nak. oke aku tipu je. kalau orang nak bagi 1juta cash macam tu je sape tak nak?kau gila la tu kalau tak nak. tapi memang betul, aku sangat menghargai pemberian ini. walaupun kau cakap kau tak pandai nak pilih, tapi aku suke bende ni, suke sangat. tenkiu sangat untuk bende ni. *bungebunge*<3

mommentum

tiga hari dah pun berlalu. exam dah pun tamat. gementar untuk exam belum lagi hilang, dah nak dapat result pulak. ape kejadah nye?. memang menyusahkan. aku nak dapat result elok tapi berangan je lah kan. belajar tak setara mane, result nak gempak pulak. blah la weh. ape ape pun reda je la dengan ape yang aku dapat. ape yang kau usaha tulah ape yang kau dapat. harap cg tak mengamuk lah kan kalau ramai pelajar dalam kelas aku tak lulus. mintak maaf cg tak terkata dari aku. harap cg faham, ni kan peperiksaan yang pertama buat tahun ini. so, gentle lah sikit cg yea. sekian~

so fast

pejam celik pejam celik dah pun masuk bulan tiga, rase cepat gile mase berlalu. minggu depan dah pun nak exam. aku rase tak bersedia langsung. banyak yang kene ulang kaji. dah la aku tengah sakit. demam, selesema, batuk, semue bercampur baur. macam mane nak belajar kalau dah keadaan macam ni. tapi aku tak tau kenape mak aku tak marah pun aku tak belajar. aku ade mengadu kat die nervous sangat nak exam, tapi die cume bagi kate kate semangat jea, tak marah langsung kat aku. mungkin sebab aku tak sehat kot. mungkin laa..

likes

yeah, selepas beberape hari berkorban, tido lewat, makan tak cukup, tak dapat jumpe kawan, serta bertungkus lumus menyiapkan banner, akhirnye siap jugak. hasil kerje biase biase sahaje, tapi aku melihatnye dengan perasaan puas hati. aku berterima kasih kepada mely, faten, yahye, una, dan hanis kerane juge bersusah payah menyiapkan mende ni walaupun kami tidak mendapat ape ape faedah. tak sabar nak show off kite orang punye banner. suke suke jea nak bangge, macam la boley menang, haha. aku bersyukur sebab telah melakukan yang terbaik punye untuk banner tuh. :D

distracting

our life is not as easy as the phrase say "as easy as pie". there's many things to do yet so little time. a lot of homeworks, chores, and other things need to be done. we ain't living in a fairytale life like "some" people do.for some people, they said heartache is more painful then bleeding your whole body.some questions popping up; have you ever felt like punching someone in the face?. or slapping them till they fall?. or even worst, kicking them till they bleed?. i know i don't. but maybe, just maybe, i want to know how does it feels to hurt a person. because i already knew how it felt being hurt. it isn't that much of fun. but then, just let it go, and it will be gone as the time went by. speeches to you people.:d

e.g. of being hurt; cutting your hand. of course it hurt you madness! :P

abnormal

lame gile kot aku tak update mende ni. sori la, nak buat macam mane, sibuk sikit. aku ade mande nak cite, tapi tak la menarik sangat pun. saje untuk suke suke. lagi pun aku suke. cuti raye baru ni, aku and family aku pegi cuti. best la. maybe sebab lame tak jumpe sepupu sepupu. oke, yang best nye, hotel kite orang tengah tengah bandar. aku, sepupu aku ikut kaklong dengan abglong pegi jalan jalan kat bandar. semue kedai kat situ cantek cantek. aku suke sangat tengok. kebetulan pulak abglong aku bwak camera power die tuh. ape lagi, aku pun terus mintak nak ambik gambar. lebih lbih lagi bile dieorang 2orang nak pegi kedai lain. aku dengan sepupu aku sorang ni, terus buat buat camera tu macam sendiri punye. best kau! masuk kedai orang bukan nak membeli, tapi ambik gambar pulak. nasib penjual tu tak mengamuk. kalau tak, habis dengan aku aku kene halau dengan penyapu.:d

.: pengalaman yang sangat manis lagi menakjubkan:. (:

oldie

cair air liur aku tengok banana split ni. gile sedap.aku ingat lagi time aku makan mnde ni. rindu sangat nak makan. yang paling aku rindu orang yang makan ice cream ni dengan aku. bile kite nak share ice cream lagi eh? fav flavour aku vanilla. yang lain aku suruh die makan. sebab aku kurang minat. tapi aku rase la jugak sikit. ambik syarat orang kate. lain kali kite makan vanilla sunday pulak keh? tak payah tunggu hari ahad pun. hari ape ape pun boley :). rindu sangat. :d

::best tau, makan jangan tak makan ;P

short time

aku nak mintak maaf kat kawan aku syalia. hari ni kau semangat datang sekolah. aku pulak ade hal tak boleh datang. aku tak sempat nak jumpe kau. tak sempat nak cakap farewell memandangkan hari ni last day kau. lepas ni aku rase memang susah nak jumpe semula sebab semue orang pun semakin sibuk. aku cume harap persahabatan kite tak putus. kau jangan lupe aku tau. jage diri elok elok. harap harap kau dapat ramai kawan nanti.

kepade black, lame kite tak pegi jalan same same macam dulu kan. aku tau aku sibuk, kau pun same. mintak maaf sebab lame sangat tak contact. aku cume harap kau cepat cepat sembuh. aku selalu doakan untuk kawan kwan aku. aku nak kau jadi nur iwani yang cergas dan selalu bertenaga macam dulu. harap kau cepat sehat.

time

hari demi hari dah berlalu. sekarang kerja sekolah pun makin banyak. belajar makin susah. aku pun mudah stress sekarang. cepat pening kepale. tak tau la macam mane nak hadapi hari hari yang bakal datang. susah susah. tau tak, mejoriti budak budak kelas aku memang malas ar. tadi kerja sekolah modmath, semue tak siap. gile takot mase cg masuk kerje tak siap. tapi, last last cg tak marah pun. cume diye suruh siapkan. nasib modmath 1 mase je.

silence

sekarang baru aku fkir mende ni betul. dulu aku teragak agak jugak nak mengaku betul. sekarang memang dah sah dah. aku fikir, betul la cakap kawan aku. kat dunia ni, manusia memang tak lari dari perbuatan mementingkan diri sendiri. dalam erti kata lain "selfish". kenapa manusia bersikap macam ni eh?aku pun pelik. hari ni aku kecewa la jugak dengan tindakan seorang makhluk. aku bukan nak mengata kau, tapi ini hakikat. aku hanya cakap, bukan bermaksud aku tak suke kau. hari ni nasib la ade kawan aku nak tolong teman, kalau tak, alamaknye aku sorang sorang la. aku tau kau ade alasan tak nak datang. tapi alasan kau tu tak kukuh. aku tau kau letih, belajar dari pagi sampai petang, tambah lagi dapat ceramah cikgu. homework pulak belambak lambak. memang kau stress. aku pun same. walaupun kelas tak same, tapi aku pun dapat ape yang kau dapat, semue orang macam tu. ini kan adat belajar. kau tak fikir ke perasaan aku?aku pun letih. tido tak cukup. kerje rumah tak siap lagi. aku, kalau nak buat ape ape, selalu fikirkan perasaan orang, tapi kau?kau pentingkan diri sendiri. aku selalu mengalah dengan kau. kau tak datang, aku kene marah dengan cikgu. terpakse la buat buat pekak sekejap. aku dah letih layan semue ni. ape kau nak buat, kau buat lah. asal kau bahagia. yang aku tau, aku akan teruskan tanggungjawab aku. lepas lepas ni kalau kau tak nak turun pun aku tak marah lagi. kawan aku pun dah jatuh cinta nak tolong budak budak tu.